Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Heteroliability

You have never heard of this word because it doesn't exist ... yet. In fact there hasn't been a need for a word like this until now. 

So, what is it?

Heteroliability refers to the spectrum of risks and liabilities that men incur when they enter into a heterosexual relationship. These are serious risks, and they include:

Domestic Violence Laws (DV) that eliminate presumption of innocence, making a man vulnerable to false charges from an angry female partner. In 2001, Ontario, and many other North American jurisdictions, adopted a "Zero Tolerance" policy for domestic violence. On the surface "zero tolerance" sounds appropriate for domestic violence, however
a man can be convicted even on the word of a female accuser. Moreover, this protection is offered only to women. When a man calls the police about an abusive or violent female partner, he is more likely to be arrested than protected. That is, after they stop laughing at him.

These laws are frequently used to win what we now call the Slam Dunk Divorce
A woman charges her man with DV. He is arrested on her word and removed from the house. Primary custody is automatically given to the mother while the father fights false charges. By the time the husband clears his name, IF he manages to clear his name, the courts will consider primary custody with the mother to be the status quo, and will very rarely change that. The father is now homeless, penniless, and reduced to "honorary parent" status. The mother's word is, de facto, the law.
Anti-rape laws in the US now define a man as a rapist if he shares drinks and sex with a woman, who is simutaneously defined as a rape victim ... by law. This is because the law says that a drunk woman cannot provide consent, and therefore any sex is automatically "rape." Even if both are drunk, the man is still a rapist while the woman is a rape victim.

Having children. Yes this is riskier for men than for women. Men lose 90% of custody battles in the event of a breakup, and when they lose custody it can be both emotionally and financially devastating. See DV laws above.

False Paternity. An alarming number of women deliberately get pregnant by a man other than the one they claim is the father. Usually they identify the wealthier, easier to manipulate man as the father, for obvious reasons. Once the court has made an order, a man is unlikely to escape child support for another man's children, even with proof that he is not the father. Support orders are even made on the women's word alone, without the target-victim's presence or knowledge.

Alimony. Women love it, and courts love women, so it's not going away. If a man is generous to a woman, giving her a life of leisure while married, she becomes entitled to this generosity for life when she kicks him out of the house.

The Matrimonial home. It's not called the "matrimonial" home for nothing. A man may have bought it, paid for it, fixed it up or even built it, but when she is tired of him she usually gets to keep it.

Legalized husband-killing. This is proposed by law professors like Elizabeth Sheehy of the University of Ottawa. Although it is not yet law, professor Sheehy points out that courts are already acquitting women who kill defenseless, often sleeping, husbands.

Now we have a word to recognize that men incur extraordinary risks and liabilities when they choose to have sex with a woman. 

Heteroliability. Use it. Words have power!

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Postscript:


I am not sure which is the better term, androliability or heteroliability.

On the one hand the liabilities and risks listed above apply only to men, hence "androliability." But, more specifically, they apply mostly to heterosexual men, hence "heteroliability." Then again, "hetero" implies that the liabilities apply to all heterosexuals when in fact they only apply to male heterosexuals.

Neither word is perfect, but I'll stick with "heteroliability" for now.